I came across this advice from an online coach that I follow and it stuck with me.
““If you let go of watching TV or scrolling through your phone for one hour a day, you will gain 365 hours...
That’s the equivalent of having nine full time 40hr work weeks to do whatever you want with”
That thought combined with focusing this year on learning new things, I decided I would take up playing the harp. I love music, I love trad music and singing but when people ask me do I play an instrument I always ended up awkwardly explaining why I didn’t play anything. So I decided just to go for it for a year and see how I like it.
I take lessons about once a week with a wonderful woman Emer Shearer in Belfast and so far so good, through her I have a loan of a 34 string Turmennan learner harp.
I am also learning more about horses this year and have spent a lot of time around a wonderful family who keep and train horses, so I am learning how to drive a cart with this wee beauty! This is Lizzie.
Here is me on one of my first trips out…notice the face full of concentration! (and fear).
So this led to a question - What attitude and mindset is most useful when you want to learn something new?
So here goes…
No 1) Do you want to do it? Do you have a good reason or love for this thing?
I love music. I love horses. So my desire to get better at these things is entirely my own motivation.
I often see in young people when they are struggling with motivation in certain subjects at school, there is a feeling of not having a purpose or a want to learn it. They are doing it because they ‘have to’ and are sick of always having to do what other people want them to.
Applying this to the harp- I want to learn it: it is my goal, my interest and my decision to learn some music skills.
Question: Can you find your own reason to want to learn something? Is it a feeling in you?
Be careful that you are not trying to do things just because other people want you to.
No 2) Are you carrying labels and limits which say what you are ‘good’ or ‘not good at’?
In the UK schooling system and also the way many people have been brought up means that often they see themselves as either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ at something…
We hear this in language all the time, where we are labelled already and often label each other
A genius at Art…The ‘Arty’ one in the class
I am crap at art! I can’t draw
Gifted at the guitar!
Good at maths/ bad at maths
Hates PE
The ‘sporty person’
….or in the case of my family taking pride in being completely non-sporty! Combined with negative teachers in school led me to really dread PE. That took me a long time to overcome until I discovered the type of movement and exercise that I like doing and want to do.
It is a real shame that from a young age we tend to really praise certain natural attributes in young people, and put labels on. Very quickly in secondary school we pick this up from the adults around us. Kids get the idea that if I am the ‘arty one’ then I will better live up to it!
They draw all the time, improving and honing skills and with repetition they become better and better at it. The young people who believe themselves not to be the ‘arty one’ then don’t even try, lest they embarrass themselves further. So the skill that they do have (as we all can draw to a greater or lesser degree) does not get built on and sadly don’t get to tap into their creative sides which blocks access to a whole area of life and creativity. The same could be said for music and other subjects, which means people go into adulthood with rigid ideas of what they can do.
Question: Who really cares if you are ‘not good’ at something?? You? Others? Are you afraid of being judged if you try?
No 3) How much time do you have to give?
It takes roughly 200 hours of steady practice to become basically competent in a musical instrument.
It takes estimated 10,000 of practice to become expert in an instrument.
This I find very interesting, because if we open our minds to the idea that our body & brain is so amazing that you can get better at anything if you practice it.
it’s not that we can’t play something, but that we don’t play it.
I am being very careful now about not labelling anyone as a ‘gifted’ at something like ‘genius on the guitar’ you will find if you look closer that it’s not a ‘born genius’ but thousands and thousands of hours of their life has been given over to playing and honing their skills. That means that they are still amazing at it, but we recognise the effort and work that it took to get there. The other side of this is that if we go around believing people are just ‘genius’ at something then we are also saying to ourselves-
because I am not a ‘born genius’ at that, I could never do it.
This really hit home to me with a conversation I had with a wise woman (it’s always a wise woman), we were watching one of their family jump huge jumps on a beautiful horse, heights that make me feel ill even thinking about. I remarked at how amazing they were and how much I admired their talent, she rightly reminded me that this man has been riding since he was 4 and he has been living and breathing horses every day of his life.
I on the other hand probably have about 250hours of horse riding experience, but spread over a long time with a gap of about 12 years from aged 16-28.
and it shows.
Yes I came off, and lived to tell the tale!
But really knowing this has freed up my approach to the harp enormously and freed up how I am thinking about so many things. I now think in terms of hours spent.
My niece is a rider of probably 25 hours experience, and shes getting more confident all the time.
I am a harpist of less than 80 hours experience, I can play some tunes and the more I focus and practice the easier it’s coming to me. Am I ready to do a concert? Absolutely not. Can I feel myself improve, yes definitely.
Question: Think of something you say you are ‘no good at’ and ask yourself how many hours have you ever practised it?
(While remembering the first point, being forced to practise something like maths when it’s not want you want to do and it’s not self motivated doesn’t count!)
So let’s drop the crushing self-defeating language of proudly stating “I can’t draw to save my life” and replace with “I like drawing, but as I have never really practised it, it doesn’t come easy for me right now”
Not so catchy I know, but there is much more truth in it.
Do you have a hobby? Do you have something you love doing that is not done out of duty or money?
They may seem like they are not that important, but these limiting ideas and self-judging mindsets can severely affect peoples quality of life and finding their path in this world.
My other thoughts on this will be followed in a part 2…
Aisling Cowan is a therapist working at the Belfast Chiropractic Clinic, she works with clients in one-one-setting to help them deal with emotional issues such as anxiety and low confidence, she has a special interest in how stress affects many physical health conditions.
Get in touch with Aisling here